James and I had our Foster Parent shower on Sunday and everything was absolutely perfect! My cousin Melissa did a wonderful job of making everything exactly how I imagined it : ) We had several friends and family members that joined us and everyone was so generous with the items that they brought to us! We got more toys, clothes and accessories than we could have imagined! I spent an entire day sorting clothes and getting things ready for whatever age girls God sends our way. Once all of the clothes were seperated by sizes it was easy to see that the newborn-6 months pile was 3xs the size of all of the other piles and the size 3 pile was 1/3 the size of all of the other piles! I sure hope that means we will be blessed with a sweet newborn baby girl : ) Of course, if God chooses to send us a 3 year old, we will be just as happy, although we may be out shopping that night buying her new clothes! LOL
I want to say a special thank you once again to everyone who came to the shower and brought items for the girls, and to everyone who could not make it to the shower but have things for them. God bless you all!!!!
We have our meeting with our foster care case worker, our adoption worker and our paper work training tomorrow : ) YAY!!! Im not 100% sure how all of that works but from my understanding, once that is completed then as soon as there are children that enter the system that fit into our wants/needs, we would be suggested by TBH to CPS to care for those children. CPS will then chose a family, out of all of the ones who have been recommended and then placement will occur. SO.... I guess it could be a matter of days, or maybe even weeks before we get placement. It all just depends on Gods timing : ) At any rate though, we are getting SUPER close! Its a good thing too because Im not sure how much longer I can continue to walk into that empty room without going crazy! : ) im so ready to add 2 little girls into our lives and be able to walk into that room and actually see the beds and the toys being put to use : ) and so ready to see their sweet little faces and get to know them and love them! Ive imagined just about every possibility, yet I know im no where near prepared for the life changing events that are coming our way! Ive imagined having a newborn and a 4 yr old, 2 3 yr olds, a 6 month old and a 2 yr old, siblings, non siblings, white, hispanic, african american, special needs, non special needs, sweet personalities, challenging personalites, kids who love us, kids who hate us, kids whos parents will try hard to get them back, kids whos parents who wont try at all..... the list goes on! I think ive thought of every possibility and yet I know, without a doubt, I have NO idea whats really in store for us or just how much our lives are about to change! There is nothing scarier than not having any idea when your family of 5 will become a family of 7, and not knowing a single thing about these kids that will be joining us..... and yet, as scary as it is, I CANT WAIT : ) I just hope that we can make half of the impact on the children that come into our lives as I already know that they will make on us!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Can you please make sure we get girls who like owls? Yeah, and please make sure we dont get girls who bite.....
Yes, these are just a few of the questions the boys asked during the home study on Saturday : ) Daniel asked if she could make sure that the girls we got liked owls so we didnt have to spend money redoing the room LOL And Kamdyn wanted her to promise she wouldnt get girls who would bite HAHA
Oh how nice it would be if those were the only concerns James and I had with bringing 2 more children into our lives. Anyway, the home study went really well but she has to come back tomorrow evening so that we can finish the last 2-4 hours. Once that is completed, we are looking at probably 4-8 weeks before we get placement.
We have really been focusing on exactly what level of special needs we would be willing to consider. I am the type who would take in the most extreme special needs child you could imagine, while James on the other hand, does not have the same type of experience and exposure to such things as I do, so he is probably closer to the other end of the spectrum as far as being comfortable taking care of a special needs/medically needy child. However, after much praying and discussing over the last few months, I think we have both decided that we would be accepting to almost anything.... One thing we unfortunately just can not do though is accept placement of a child who has been sexually abused. As much as we want to help everyone, we just simply can not take the chance of having a child in our home who has gone through such things for fear that they might in turn act out against our own kids. We have to protect our boys first and foremost!! I have had some slight negative feedback from people regarding us being open to taking in special needs/medically needy children but all I can say to them, and anyone else who looks at it as a negative things is this......
Everyone is a wonderful creation of God! Should a child be turned away and not shown love, attention and care just because they are different? Should they be orphans just because they are different?
We are doing this because this is what God has called us to do and God has provided me with experience and training for years dealing with physically, mentally, emotionally and educationally delayed children so why now, at the most important time to put my experience and training towards a good cause, would I turn away children who fit into those categories. In my eyes, that would be doing a disservice to our ministry of being Foster Parents. Aside from those reasons, James and I firmly believe it will be wonderful life lessons for all 3 of the boys. It will teach them to treat everyone equally and to not pick on people who are different but to treat them with love and respect, even when other people are not willing to do so. With all of that being said, I hope that you will all support us in our decision to not just love, accept and care for "normal" children but to love, accept and care for children who need it regardless of any special needs that may come along with them. If you fit into the category of not being supportive of this decision then all I can say is that we have been praying for/ and will continue to pray for people who just dont seem to understand. We pray that God will open your heart and your eyes to see that everyone was created equally and just because someone has special needs does not mean they should be cast aside and not loved.... We are also praying for ourselves and the boys that we will all be able to adjust to the transition of being a 5 person family to a 7 person with few problems and difficulties. In addition to that, we are praying for the girls who God plans to send to us. We pray that they too will make the transition into our family as smoothly as possible. We pray that they will feel loved and wanted from the moment that they enter into our family and we pray that their family, whatever their situation may be, will be able to get the help that they need to become the parents that they should be, and that reunification is the end result. Thank you for everyone who has been and will continue to support us in our journey!
On a less serious note, Im so looking forward to pinks and purples, frills and lace, ruffles and bows and flowers and butterflies : )
Oh how nice it would be if those were the only concerns James and I had with bringing 2 more children into our lives. Anyway, the home study went really well but she has to come back tomorrow evening so that we can finish the last 2-4 hours. Once that is completed, we are looking at probably 4-8 weeks before we get placement.
We have really been focusing on exactly what level of special needs we would be willing to consider. I am the type who would take in the most extreme special needs child you could imagine, while James on the other hand, does not have the same type of experience and exposure to such things as I do, so he is probably closer to the other end of the spectrum as far as being comfortable taking care of a special needs/medically needy child. However, after much praying and discussing over the last few months, I think we have both decided that we would be accepting to almost anything.... One thing we unfortunately just can not do though is accept placement of a child who has been sexually abused. As much as we want to help everyone, we just simply can not take the chance of having a child in our home who has gone through such things for fear that they might in turn act out against our own kids. We have to protect our boys first and foremost!! I have had some slight negative feedback from people regarding us being open to taking in special needs/medically needy children but all I can say to them, and anyone else who looks at it as a negative things is this......
Everyone is a wonderful creation of God! Should a child be turned away and not shown love, attention and care just because they are different? Should they be orphans just because they are different?
We are doing this because this is what God has called us to do and God has provided me with experience and training for years dealing with physically, mentally, emotionally and educationally delayed children so why now, at the most important time to put my experience and training towards a good cause, would I turn away children who fit into those categories. In my eyes, that would be doing a disservice to our ministry of being Foster Parents. Aside from those reasons, James and I firmly believe it will be wonderful life lessons for all 3 of the boys. It will teach them to treat everyone equally and to not pick on people who are different but to treat them with love and respect, even when other people are not willing to do so. With all of that being said, I hope that you will all support us in our decision to not just love, accept and care for "normal" children but to love, accept and care for children who need it regardless of any special needs that may come along with them. If you fit into the category of not being supportive of this decision then all I can say is that we have been praying for/ and will continue to pray for people who just dont seem to understand. We pray that God will open your heart and your eyes to see that everyone was created equally and just because someone has special needs does not mean they should be cast aside and not loved.... We are also praying for ourselves and the boys that we will all be able to adjust to the transition of being a 5 person family to a 7 person with few problems and difficulties. In addition to that, we are praying for the girls who God plans to send to us. We pray that they too will make the transition into our family as smoothly as possible. We pray that they will feel loved and wanted from the moment that they enter into our family and we pray that their family, whatever their situation may be, will be able to get the help that they need to become the parents that they should be, and that reunification is the end result. Thank you for everyone who has been and will continue to support us in our journey!
On a less serious note, Im so looking forward to pinks and purples, frills and lace, ruffles and bows and flowers and butterflies : )
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Fundraiser
SCENTSY
FOSTER
CARE FUNDRAISER
This
fundraiser is being hosted by Melissa Ormsby, Independent Scentsy Consultant in
order to help raise money for the Caliendos, to help them get their home ready
to care for the upcoming addition of 2 foster girls. 20% of the sales received
for this party will go directly to James and Ashlee for them to use to put
towards beds, bedding, toys, and other essential items needed to get their home
ready to bring children into their home, into their lives and into their
hearts.
James
and Ashlee Caliendo have 3 boys, Thomas(12) Daniel (10) and Kamdyn (4) and are
in the final stages of becoming foster parents in order to help give other
children a chance to experience a loving and safe family life. The Caliendo’s
are members of The Avenue church and James and Ashlee teach the 2 year old
class at The Avenue every Sunday morning.
If
you are interested in placing an order with Melissa Ormsby in an effort to help
support the Caliendos in their journey into foster care, please visit www.melissaormsby.scentsy.us
You
may also contact Melissa Ormsby via telephone @
(972) 935-2064 or you may place an order in person via James or Ashlee
Caliendo.
*When
placing an order, please mention that you are wanting to place the order under
the Foster Care Fundraiser. When visiting the website, please click the link on
the left hand side that says “BUY FROM PARTY” for the Foster Care Fundraiser*
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_donations&business=ashstorm22%40yahoo%2ecom&lc=US&item_name=Foster%20Care%20Fundraiser¤cy_code=USD&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF%3abtn_donateCC_LG%2egif%3aNonHosted
Thank you for your love and support!
Thank you for your love and support!
God
Bless…..
Monday, April 2, 2012
Its all coming together.......
God has been really providing us with everything we need and its amazing how quickly everything is coming together. We are 99.9% sure we have found a house and we will be moving the weekend of April 13th : ) We had a garage sale and sold a lot of stuff and we have started packing everything in preparation for the big move : ) We will be having a moving party Friday the 13th for anyone who is interested in helping us move : ) Pizza, dessert and drinks will be provided to anyone willing to help us move. Here is a link to a virtual tour of the home. http://youtu.be/gJmAsMsOB10
We have our pre home study scheduled for April 19th @ 4:30. YAY! I have one book report left to do and James has 2 and then ALL of our paper work will be complete minus the fire escape plan, fire inspection and health inspection since we cant do those things until we are moved in.
My cousin started selling Scentsy and has been kind enough to offer to do a fundraiser Scensty catalog party for us. We will receive 20% of all sales for that party to help towards the cost of getting the room ready for the girls..... beds, bedding, toys, etc! I will have more info on this ASAP : )
Last but certainly not least, James and I sat down with Kamdyn tonight and read his adoption book to him for about the hundreth time except this time, when we finished reading it to him we asked him what adoption meant to him. He said that adoptiom meant getting new parents because your other parents couldnt take care of you. We told him that was correct. Then I explained to him that God decided that he decided it was time for mommy to have a baby so he put a teeny tiny baby in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew for 9 months and then when he was big and strong enough mommy had a brand new baby to love. We explained that mommy did not adopt him since he grew in my tummy. But that he WAS adopted. We asked him" if mommy didnt adopt you, who do you think did" he sat there for a second and then his little face lit up and he said DADDY!?!? I said thats right! He jumped up and jumped into James' lap, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the head. We then explained to him that the man who God chose to be his dad was named Ritch and he unable to take care of him and wasnt doing a very good job of loving him and giving him the things he needed so thats why mommy and Kamdyn lived with mimi and pawpaw and they helped take care of him for a while. Then one day mommy met a man named James. Mommy and James fell in love and James fell in love with Kamdyn and thought he was very special so he decided he wanted to be Kamdyns daddy forever so he wanted to adopt him. Kamdyn was giggling and laughing the whole time and just kept hugging James and kissing him. I also explained to him that Ritch has 3 other boys who are Kamdyns bioligical brothers. I asked if he would like to see a picture and he said sure. I showed him a picture and told him who everyone in the picture was. He asked why Ritch didnt want to take care of him.... I explained to him that he was just not in a good place in his life and not able to give him the love he needed at that time. He then pointed to Ritchs boys and asked who took care of them. I let him know that sometimes Ritch would take care of them and sometimes Ritchs mom would take care of them. I asked if he had any questions and he said no. I then asked how it made him feel.... happy, confused, sad, angry? and he said "im just kind of like whatever" LOL Then he said "it makes me happy because I have a daddy to love me now" and then he started wrestling and playing with James just as if he hadnt been told anything at all. I know with time, he will have many more questions but for now, he took it very well and seemed very uninterested in knowing anything about Ritch. Thank you God for allowing my sweet tender hearted baby boy to see the positives to this and not waste his time worrying about a man who walked away from him but instead focus his attention on the daddy who loves him!!!!
We have our pre home study scheduled for April 19th @ 4:30. YAY! I have one book report left to do and James has 2 and then ALL of our paper work will be complete minus the fire escape plan, fire inspection and health inspection since we cant do those things until we are moved in.
My cousin started selling Scentsy and has been kind enough to offer to do a fundraiser Scensty catalog party for us. We will receive 20% of all sales for that party to help towards the cost of getting the room ready for the girls..... beds, bedding, toys, etc! I will have more info on this ASAP : )
Last but certainly not least, James and I sat down with Kamdyn tonight and read his adoption book to him for about the hundreth time except this time, when we finished reading it to him we asked him what adoption meant to him. He said that adoptiom meant getting new parents because your other parents couldnt take care of you. We told him that was correct. Then I explained to him that God decided that he decided it was time for mommy to have a baby so he put a teeny tiny baby in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew for 9 months and then when he was big and strong enough mommy had a brand new baby to love. We explained that mommy did not adopt him since he grew in my tummy. But that he WAS adopted. We asked him" if mommy didnt adopt you, who do you think did" he sat there for a second and then his little face lit up and he said DADDY!?!? I said thats right! He jumped up and jumped into James' lap, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the head. We then explained to him that the man who God chose to be his dad was named Ritch and he unable to take care of him and wasnt doing a very good job of loving him and giving him the things he needed so thats why mommy and Kamdyn lived with mimi and pawpaw and they helped take care of him for a while. Then one day mommy met a man named James. Mommy and James fell in love and James fell in love with Kamdyn and thought he was very special so he decided he wanted to be Kamdyns daddy forever so he wanted to adopt him. Kamdyn was giggling and laughing the whole time and just kept hugging James and kissing him. I also explained to him that Ritch has 3 other boys who are Kamdyns bioligical brothers. I asked if he would like to see a picture and he said sure. I showed him a picture and told him who everyone in the picture was. He asked why Ritch didnt want to take care of him.... I explained to him that he was just not in a good place in his life and not able to give him the love he needed at that time. He then pointed to Ritchs boys and asked who took care of them. I let him know that sometimes Ritch would take care of them and sometimes Ritchs mom would take care of them. I asked if he had any questions and he said no. I then asked how it made him feel.... happy, confused, sad, angry? and he said "im just kind of like whatever" LOL Then he said "it makes me happy because I have a daddy to love me now" and then he started wrestling and playing with James just as if he hadnt been told anything at all. I know with time, he will have many more questions but for now, he took it very well and seemed very uninterested in knowing anything about Ritch. Thank you God for allowing my sweet tender hearted baby boy to see the positives to this and not waste his time worrying about a man who walked away from him but instead focus his attention on the daddy who loves him!!!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
When the truth hurts.....
As most of you know, Kamdyn's biological father is not James. However, this is something that Kamdyn is completely unaware of. In his eyes and in his heart, James is his daddy and he has no idea that there is a man out there whom he does not even know that is actually his father. Well, after much thinking and praying about it James and I have decided that the time has come to start the process of explaining things to Kamdyn in the best way possible for a 4 year old to understand. This is one of the hardest decisions of my life because selfishly I want to keep this a secret forver(although I know I cant) I do not think that his bio father deserves even a second thought from Kamdyn at this point. He has done nothing to earn Kamdyn even thinking of him. I worry that when Kamdyn finds out he is going to yearn for more information, information that he just isnt old enough to understand at this age. However, without that information, I fear that he will idolize him and build him up to be as wonderful of a daddy as James is, and that simply just isnt the case. But how can a 4 yr old understand those things? How can I keep him from having this fairy tale vision of his bio father without talking negatively about him to Kamdyn or without making Kamdyn feel like he wasnt wanted(which is something I never want him to feel!!!) However, I know that he is already starting to piece together some things and the questions are starting to form, they just havent came out yet. I would rather us be up front and honest about it now, while he is so young and cant fully grasp the concept so that he has many years to have it in the back of his mind and know the truth. Then once he reaches the age that he does fully get it, he will already have the knowledge and it not be a shock to him. I would much rather that than to wait until he is 8 or 9 years old and then tell him and him fully get the concept of what it means and have hurt and anger about that plus be angry that we kept it from him for all those years.
We have purchased kid friendly books about adoption and step parent adoption and plan to read them to him every night as his bedtime story for several months. Once he is used to the terms "adoption" and "biological" and is familiar with how that takes place, then we will sit him down and tell him his story : ) Of course, Kamdyn is already becoming very familiar and aware of adoption since we started our wonderful journey. He takes his action figures and stuffed animals and makes 2 families. One set of parents are good parents who want to help little kids. The other family is a set of parents who arent very good at taking care of their kids and he will take the kids out of the bad situation and put them in with the "good" family : ) And on a few occasions he has decided it was his job to point out kids in the stores who he thought either didnt have a family at all or didnt have a good family and talk about how they needed a new family LOL
This is a very emotional time for me as his mommy because my job is to protect him from any thing or anyone that might hurt him and now, Im having to be the one to tell him information that without a doubt, at some point, will hurt him. Its heart breaking but it has to be done. Please just say a prayer for us during this emotional time and pray that James and I handle this in the best way possible. Also please say a prayer for Kamdyn as this is going to be a very confusing situation for him as well.
We have purchased kid friendly books about adoption and step parent adoption and plan to read them to him every night as his bedtime story for several months. Once he is used to the terms "adoption" and "biological" and is familiar with how that takes place, then we will sit him down and tell him his story : ) Of course, Kamdyn is already becoming very familiar and aware of adoption since we started our wonderful journey. He takes his action figures and stuffed animals and makes 2 families. One set of parents are good parents who want to help little kids. The other family is a set of parents who arent very good at taking care of their kids and he will take the kids out of the bad situation and put them in with the "good" family : ) And on a few occasions he has decided it was his job to point out kids in the stores who he thought either didnt have a family at all or didnt have a good family and talk about how they needed a new family LOL
This is a very emotional time for me as his mommy because my job is to protect him from any thing or anyone that might hurt him and now, Im having to be the one to tell him information that without a doubt, at some point, will hurt him. Its heart breaking but it has to be done. Please just say a prayer for us during this emotional time and pray that James and I handle this in the best way possible. Also please say a prayer for Kamdyn as this is going to be a very confusing situation for him as well.
Monday, January 30, 2012
The stars in my heart.....
Saturday, January 28, 2012
2 weeks in and I am forever changed!
During training today we got to hear from a foster mom who has had over 50 kids during her time as a foster parent. She was such an inspiration to me! What an amazing lady with such powerful stories!!! She spoke of her trials and tribulations as a foster mom (primarily to teens) but also spoke of the great rewards and joy that comes along with being a foster parent. Hearing her talk about all of the children that had been placed in and out of her home just broke my heart...for some of them, this was their 10th or 12th home since coming into care and some of which were up for adoption but had been with her for years because no one wanted to adopt them! Can you imagine how that must make you feel if you are a child? Growing up as a child I had a very stable and loving family and always felt wanted and loved. For some kids, they have never experienced this and she is able to give this to some of these kids for the first time in their lives! What an amazing reward that is!!! As I sat and listened to her stories I began to do a lot of thinking and I realized something! Without ever really realizing it before, all 3 of our sweet boys have been put through similar situations and have been or will be effected in some way or another by these things. Thomas and Daniel have been through seeing their parents go through divorce and have their family split apart. They are with us 50% of the time and with their mom 50% of the time. We all love them very much and would do anything to see them happy! But, where is home? Each week those boys go from house to house, family to family, these rules here and those rules there, these toys and clothes at this house to other toys and clothes at another house. They have to go every other week without seeing their neighborhood friends, or their pets, or maybe just their favorite toy or blanket. Even though they are well adjusted and typically never complain, it cant be easy on them... and they have the luxury of going through all of that with parents and family who love them, care for them and support them. I can not imagine being a small child and going through those same scenarios, only not having parents who seem to care at all, or not having any one there to tuck them in at night, or to even feed them and clothe them. What a horrible thing for anyone to have to experience, but especially for an innocent and helpless child.
Then you have Kamdyn who lives with us full time and has the love and support from both James and myself as well as our families. He is a well adjusted, happy, lovable child who has no idea that there is a man out there some where that is his biological father, and that man is not James as he has always thought. There is a man out there somewhere who walked away and gave up on him before ever giving him a fair chance! Without ever being a father to him and without ever having a chance to bond with him, he decided that Kamdyn just wasnt worth the time, effort and money that went in to being his father. How will that effect Kamdyn when he gets older? I can only hope that the love that James and I give to him and the love from both of our families will be enough to show him that he is a wonderful child and that there is nothing wrong with him....its not HIS fault and he did NOTHING to cause his biological father to make those decisions.
So as I said, both situations are very similar to things that foster kids experience(moving from place to place, having no place to really call home, being removed from their favorite items, families torn apart, not having their biological parent in their lives, and not even being old enough to remember them or anything about them) thankfully our boys have something that the children coming into care do not have.... They have their families still taking care of them. They are not being taken and placed with complete strangers who know very little, or nothing at all about them. Can you imagine how frightening that must be as a child? I admire the foster parents who take in these children to love and care for, even if for only a short period of time. The foster parents, like the lady I met today, that continue to show these kids that they are loved and special, even when the kids are pulling away and acting out.
When I first started this journey with James, my primary goal was to adopt a little girl and to complete our family. I was most excited about finally having a little girl to raise and bond with. I was looking forward to frills and bows and pigtails and tutus.....However if someone were to ask me what I am most excited about now, my answer would be completely different! Sure, I am still excited to do that (very excited) but I am quickly realizing that God has much more in store for us on this journey than just adoption. God has opened my eyes and my heart to foster care and to being an advocate and ministering to these children who will need us more than anyone has ever needed us before. Children who need us in ways we can not even imagine. These children need to be shown love, the need to be taught right from wrong and they need to be shown what its like to have values and morals. They need to know what a healthy parent/child relationship and a healthy husband/wife relationship looks like. BUT most of all most of these children need to know about one very important person, someone who will be with them always and never let them down. GOD! So go ahead, ask me what I am most excited about now, after only 2 weeks of training! I am SO excited to become a foster mom and give kids a home who need a safe place, to help them to feel loved and understand, the best that they can, what is going on, to teach them about God and take them to church. I am excited to make a difference in their life(even if only for a short time) and I am ready for these kids to change MY life as well. So I think its only right that I now change the title of this blog to JOURNEY THROUGH FOSTER CARE AND ADOPTION,(Instead of just journey to adoption) as the foster care part is now a huge part of my dreams and goals. Yes, our goal is to still adopt, and hopefully sooner than later. However, it is SO much more than just that. God had a plan for us all along, he just brought it to my heart in the form of adoption because he knew we would listen more and be more receptive to that idea at first but he knew that through training and talking with people, we would realize the importance of foster care and become more focused on helping all children placed in our homes not just so focused on finding that one special little girl to adopt : ) And guess what, it worked!
~Ashlee~
Then you have Kamdyn who lives with us full time and has the love and support from both James and myself as well as our families. He is a well adjusted, happy, lovable child who has no idea that there is a man out there some where that is his biological father, and that man is not James as he has always thought. There is a man out there somewhere who walked away and gave up on him before ever giving him a fair chance! Without ever being a father to him and without ever having a chance to bond with him, he decided that Kamdyn just wasnt worth the time, effort and money that went in to being his father. How will that effect Kamdyn when he gets older? I can only hope that the love that James and I give to him and the love from both of our families will be enough to show him that he is a wonderful child and that there is nothing wrong with him....its not HIS fault and he did NOTHING to cause his biological father to make those decisions.
So as I said, both situations are very similar to things that foster kids experience(moving from place to place, having no place to really call home, being removed from their favorite items, families torn apart, not having their biological parent in their lives, and not even being old enough to remember them or anything about them) thankfully our boys have something that the children coming into care do not have.... They have their families still taking care of them. They are not being taken and placed with complete strangers who know very little, or nothing at all about them. Can you imagine how frightening that must be as a child? I admire the foster parents who take in these children to love and care for, even if for only a short period of time. The foster parents, like the lady I met today, that continue to show these kids that they are loved and special, even when the kids are pulling away and acting out.
When I first started this journey with James, my primary goal was to adopt a little girl and to complete our family. I was most excited about finally having a little girl to raise and bond with. I was looking forward to frills and bows and pigtails and tutus.....However if someone were to ask me what I am most excited about now, my answer would be completely different! Sure, I am still excited to do that (very excited) but I am quickly realizing that God has much more in store for us on this journey than just adoption. God has opened my eyes and my heart to foster care and to being an advocate and ministering to these children who will need us more than anyone has ever needed us before. Children who need us in ways we can not even imagine. These children need to be shown love, the need to be taught right from wrong and they need to be shown what its like to have values and morals. They need to know what a healthy parent/child relationship and a healthy husband/wife relationship looks like. BUT most of all most of these children need to know about one very important person, someone who will be with them always and never let them down. GOD! So go ahead, ask me what I am most excited about now, after only 2 weeks of training! I am SO excited to become a foster mom and give kids a home who need a safe place, to help them to feel loved and understand, the best that they can, what is going on, to teach them about God and take them to church. I am excited to make a difference in their life(even if only for a short time) and I am ready for these kids to change MY life as well. So I think its only right that I now change the title of this blog to JOURNEY THROUGH FOSTER CARE AND ADOPTION,(Instead of just journey to adoption) as the foster care part is now a huge part of my dreams and goals. Yes, our goal is to still adopt, and hopefully sooner than later. However, it is SO much more than just that. God had a plan for us all along, he just brought it to my heart in the form of adoption because he knew we would listen more and be more receptive to that idea at first but he knew that through training and talking with people, we would realize the importance of foster care and become more focused on helping all children placed in our homes not just so focused on finding that one special little girl to adopt : ) And guess what, it worked!
~Ashlee~
Thursday, January 26, 2012
A journal entry written about me by Daniel
I have a step mom, her name is Ashlee. She is nice kind and funny. She helps me with my homework. She does a bunch like greets me when i walk in the door. She makes my lunch. She even cleans my dirty dishes and does my laundry. So even when Im mad at her or she is mad at me, she would still do all that stuff. Sometimes I might not say "thank you" she still does it because she loves me. She will also sometimes let me go outside and play with all of my friends. She is really nice. She watches over me and is the best step mom you can get. She even helps me by like telling me right from wrong. She might be my step mom but she is still nice as you can ever imagine!
AWWWW! This just melted my heart!!!!
AWWWW! This just melted my heart!!!!
Adoption Symbol
TRAINING, REQUIREMENTS, AND LICENSES OH MY!
* Training consists of 5 Saturdays in a row from 9am-4pm... Status: 1 Saturday down, 4 to go : )
* Videos and homework from training day 1..... Status: SLACKING
* Applications, family history, SAFE questions, Foster Parent preference questions and various other paperwork.....Status: DONE
* CPR and First Aid class.... Status: March
* Background checks, fingerprints, drug screens, physicals & TB test,(for everyone in the home) and medical history....
* Home Study, Fire inspection, Health inspection, Home floor plan, fire escape plan ......Status: TBA
* Medicine lock box, emergency box filled with changes of clothes and blankets for everyone, flashlights, water etc outlet covers, tooth brush covers, fire extinguisher etc.... Status: PARTIALLY DONE
* House rules and Schedules....Status: DONE
* Videos and homework from training day 1..... Status: SLACKING
* Applications, family history, SAFE questions, Foster Parent preference questions and various other paperwork.....Status: DONE
* CPR and First Aid class.... Status: March
* Background checks, fingerprints, drug screens, physicals & TB test,(for everyone in the home) and medical history....
* Home Study, Fire inspection, Health inspection, Home floor plan, fire escape plan ......Status: TBA
* Medicine lock box, emergency box filled with changes of clothes and blankets for everyone, flashlights, water etc outlet covers, tooth brush covers, fire extinguisher etc.... Status: PARTIALLY DONE
* House rules and Schedules....Status: DONE
3+2=5
Individually we are special,
together we are spectacular
9-13-1975 James Ray Caliendo was born (Ashlee's parents were newlyweds)
10-31-1984 Ashlee Reanna Bryant was born (James was a vibrant, full of energy 9 year old boy)
9-6-1997 James gets married (Ashlee was 12 years old)
12-28-1999 Thomas James Caliendo was born (Ashlee had just turned 15 years old)
10-19-2001 Daniel Anthony Caliendo was born (Ashlee was almost 17, homeschooling and working as CNA)
12-25-2006 Ashlee was living in Saginaw Tx and had just gotten engaged to a man with 3 boys. James, his wife
and 2 kids were living in Arlington Tx.
2-14-2006 Ashlee found out she was expecting a little miracle, engagement was called off and she moved home
with her parents in Grandview, Tx.
10-10-2007 Kamdyn Lewis Bryant was born (Ashlee and Kamdyn were living in Grandview. James and family
were living in Red Oak Tx.)
2007-2009 James and Ashlee were both struggling in different towns to make relatioships work for different
reasons.
May 2009 Ashlee had finally realized that no matter how hard she tried, her relationship, and the relationship between Kamdyn and his biological father, could not be saved.
May 20,2009 Ashlee wrote this
"DEAR GOD,
You are the author of this book, Im only a minor character in this drama
filled novel. You finish the chapter how you see fit! You control the end of the
chapter as well as the end of the book! Let me know how it ends but PLEASE do
not let my son be hurt and let down by this cold hearted man!!!!! Please help
Kamdyn to understand that mommy did everything she could to try and MAKE his
father be the man that he needed but it just didnt work like I planned!!!!
Please help him as he gets older to understand the meaning behind the saying "
any man can be a father but it takes a REAL MAN to be a daddy" Help me to raise
Kamdyn to be a REAL man and give him the guidance he needs to be a loving,
caring gentleman regardless of who his father is! And one more thing....if you
would like to send "PRINCE CHARMING" my way to sweep me off my feet and step in
and be the "daddy" that Kamdyn needs; im ok with that too!
May 22, 2009 (2 days later and 4 towns over) James discovered information which made him file for divorce.
June 2009 James and Ashlee were introduced via Facebook by a mutual friend. They exchanged numbers and began casually talking.
July 13, 2009 James and Ashlee had their first date.....Ashlee now believes in love at first site <3
February 6, 2010 James and Ashlee get married. Pledge vows to each other and the boys.
February 24, 2011 Termination papers are filed with the court and Kamdyns life has just changed forever(for the better)
A NEW FAMILY IS CREATED......
The Gift of Life
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I
feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each
other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of
life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
10-31-1984 Ashlee Reanna Bryant was born (James was a vibrant, full of energy 9 year old boy)
9-6-1997 James gets married (Ashlee was 12 years old)
12-28-1999 Thomas James Caliendo was born (Ashlee had just turned 15 years old)
10-19-2001 Daniel Anthony Caliendo was born (Ashlee was almost 17, homeschooling and working as CNA)
12-25-2006 Ashlee was living in Saginaw Tx and had just gotten engaged to a man with 3 boys. James, his wife
and 2 kids were living in Arlington Tx.
2-14-2006 Ashlee found out she was expecting a little miracle, engagement was called off and she moved home
with her parents in Grandview, Tx.
10-10-2007 Kamdyn Lewis Bryant was born (Ashlee and Kamdyn were living in Grandview. James and family
were living in Red Oak Tx.)
2007-2009 James and Ashlee were both struggling in different towns to make relatioships work for different
reasons.
May 2009 Ashlee had finally realized that no matter how hard she tried, her relationship, and the relationship between Kamdyn and his biological father, could not be saved.
May 20,2009 Ashlee wrote this
"DEAR GOD,
You are the author of this book, Im only a minor character in this drama
filled novel. You finish the chapter how you see fit! You control the end of the
chapter as well as the end of the book! Let me know how it ends but PLEASE do
not let my son be hurt and let down by this cold hearted man!!!!! Please help
Kamdyn to understand that mommy did everything she could to try and MAKE his
father be the man that he needed but it just didnt work like I planned!!!!
Please help him as he gets older to understand the meaning behind the saying "
any man can be a father but it takes a REAL MAN to be a daddy" Help me to raise
Kamdyn to be a REAL man and give him the guidance he needs to be a loving,
caring gentleman regardless of who his father is! And one more thing....if you
would like to send "PRINCE CHARMING" my way to sweep me off my feet and step in
and be the "daddy" that Kamdyn needs; im ok with that too!
May 22, 2009 (2 days later and 4 towns over) James discovered information which made him file for divorce.
June 2009 James and Ashlee were introduced via Facebook by a mutual friend. They exchanged numbers and began casually talking.
July 13, 2009 James and Ashlee had their first date.....Ashlee now believes in love at first site <3
February 6, 2010 James and Ashlee get married. Pledge vows to each other and the boys.
February 24, 2011 Termination papers are filed with the court and Kamdyns life has just changed forever(for the better)
A NEW FAMILY IS CREATED......
The Gift of Life
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I
feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each
other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn't give you
The gift of
life,
Life gave me the gift of you.
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